I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
