How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Still dying that you shit outside
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
