He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They are going to name an STD after you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
