Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
