Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
