Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
