just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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