I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
