Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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