I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
