i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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