you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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