ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
