would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
