did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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