I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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