the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
