Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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