when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
