id be glad to
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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