Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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