you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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