how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
