You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
