I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
