i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
