i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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