It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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