Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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