Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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