Are we in a gay sports bar?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
