They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
