i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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