if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
