Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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