Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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