Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
