She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
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