Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We talked him into tasing himself.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
