These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
