Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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