Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
