My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
