I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
