I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
