i don't like sucking hair
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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