I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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