found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
