I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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