how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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