Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
