i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
