couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I smell like Dick and happiness
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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