ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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