I'm jealous of your bromance
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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